Reminder Tools

We have all heard that the key to creating a new habit is to repeat the activity every day for 20 days and then that new habit will be a part of your life. Well, based on my experience some habits are harder to develop than others. If you want to create a new habit of jogging twenty minutes every morning then the 20 day approach can be quite effective – although I require a lot more days than 20! But, for creating new habits that are ubiquitous in our daily lives the 20 day approach is less effective. Those habits that infiltrate our day from the time we rise until we go to bed are what I like to call ubiquitous habits. Here are some examples of ubiquitous habits:

• optimism vs. pessimism
• tone of voice – is it appropriate for the circumstances?
• facial expressions – do we use facial expressions that push away people, or encourage them?
• words – do we use slang or have verbal habits that meet our professional goals and environment?
• attentiveness – do we slip in and out of awareness in meetings or when people are talking with us?
• Listening skills – do we have good listening skills

There are many more of this troublesome habits that just slip in and out of our day, but this is a good list to get you thinking about those habits that shape your daily interactions with people, your approach to work, and your drive toward success. Success can be hampered by these ubiquitous habits. Yet the 20 day approach in its simplest form alone cannot make us change habits in these areas. Changing these habits takes constant monitoring. I like to call this monitoring Reminder Tools. Reminder Tools are techniques that help us remember to make these little, yet important, life changes, because it is the accumulation of these little life changes that add up to great progress.

How do Reminder Tools Work?

Sue worked for me in a supervisory position several years ago. Ann worked for her. Sue noticed that when Ann spoke in meetings she had a habit of closing her eyes and tilting her head back slightly. This facial expression sent a false signal to some people, which was that Ann thought she was better, smarter, or more well informed than them. It was a condescending gesture.

Ann was distraught when Sue explained what Ann was doing and the effect it was having on those she interacted with. As a project manager managing teams and working with executives, stakeholders, and customers this was a small thing that could have a large impact over time on her carrier. Sue helped Ann devise a plan to eliminate this seemingly small yet negative habit.

First, Sue attended several meetings a week with Ann in the course of their responsibilities. They worked out a method for Sue to communicate to Ann, without drawing attention from others in the meeting, when Ann was slipping into the ‘eye closing’ habit. After the meeting Sue and Ann would talk. They created an accountability partnership. But what if Sue was not around? How would Ann be able to work on her condescending ‘eye closing’ habit? This is where Reminder Tools are valuable.

In the case of Ann, she did not create a Reminder Tool. Her efforts were reduced to trying to be self aware during the meetings. This approach alone may eventually work to reshape our habits, but under stress, or when the drag of the day deadens our focus, attention to self awareness wanes. A simple reminder could have been to sketch a pair of small eyes on the top line of her notebook. People doodle in their notebooks all the time and the little pair of eyes would have not been noticed. Those eyes looking at her throughout the meeting would have served as a good reminder – a Reminder Tool.

I used a special color of sticky note that served as Reminder Tool. I would only use purple sticky notes for reminders. Purple notes became a visual stimulus to stop, read, and think. I could quickly read the short note, or have a little visual reminder sketched on the purple sticky to serve as a Reminder Tool for a specific self improvement goal I was working on.

Experiment with different techniques for your own personal Reminder Tools. They are great little reminders that you can recognize without drawing attention by others. Tickler Tools are another device to stimulate self awareness skills.
Author: Jeff Harris

Copyright © 2010

For other self awareness tools and techniques see the following articles:
Self Awareness a 5 Step Process
Observing Others A Self Awareness Tool